Time to take a break!
Cat Expression
Business rules
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and most days the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where on earth is the ceiling?
My reality check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everyone is someone else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you won't be promoted.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous'.
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Optical Illusion
Cats, Monkey and a Dead Penguin
Laid Back Cat
Kung Fu Cat
Gotcha!!
The 10 things I hate about people!!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when
I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
channel manually.
3. When people say, Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too, Damn
right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say it's always the last place you look, Of course it is. Why
the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, did you see that? No Loser, I
paid £10 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask, Can I ask you a question?..... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.
8. When people say life is short, What the hey?? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, Has the bus come yet?
If the bus came would I be standing here?
10. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
